Hm, I think I must have got off-track of the date of late. So today, no weight loss from yesterday. I am understanding. I'm going to concentrate on getting in some straight-up water today - I'm thinking water might have been the reason I lost control with some sugar-free jelly beans. Yesterday I began to feel confusion again about when to eat - it wound up being ok - it has to do with what I'm trying to do sleep-wise, but these days I'm finding my body won't let me stay awake too long - it starts to aggravate my spine, and muscles in a way it never did a year ago - trying to find a word for it, Dad said "jittery" and that's kinda right. Not that the muscles are jumping, but they are in a constant and increasing state of wanting to. I don't know if it's old age or if it's even the early symptoms of disease.
Anyway - I wound up getting more sleep last night than I'd wanted because my alarm was on vibrate. So I don't have as many hours of quiet contemplation at the theatre as I would have liked. Still - I'm not going to freak out. It's going to be a good day.
Another thing is that I started obsessing about moving out again. Just now I find evidence in the kitchen that my roommate's bf is back from NY and still here. Unless she's decided to go on Atkins, which seems unlikely since she doesn't like meat. So how long is he staying? Indefinitely? Anyway - I WANT MY CAT! And I found this cute apartment in a great location - right smack downtown. I didn't ever know I wanted to live downtown, but we have a tiny closed-off little historic district bursting with charm. I figure I could live there for a year - it's beyond my budget, so I started to see what other kinds of places I could get at $650 per month, too.
But this ill-timed obsession interfered with my productivity.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Oct 13 - 223
I would have been disappointed not to have a loss today, but I would have understood. But ok, I got another pound off today, weighing in at 223. That's 6 pounds down since Sunday. The cool thing about that is that, now, at a rate of 2 pounds per week (too optimistic?) I can hope to get right at 200 by year's end, and *if* I pushed or were lucky, could see the other side of 200 by year's end.
I had to walk past ANOTHER plate of brownies yesterday. No chocolate until Nov 21. Oy. How about one of Subway's wonderful oatmeal raisin cookies on Sunday or something? Eh, better not put that much sugar in me so soon, I think.
My jeans were feeling very very tight and uncomfortable around my midsection yesterday. The 16s with just the barest touch of stretchiness.
Oooo, a sexy crack of thunder at 7 a.m.! How exotic!
I had to walk past ANOTHER plate of brownies yesterday. No chocolate until Nov 21. Oy. How about one of Subway's wonderful oatmeal raisin cookies on Sunday or something? Eh, better not put that much sugar in me so soon, I think.
My jeans were feeling very very tight and uncomfortable around my midsection yesterday. The 16s with just the barest touch of stretchiness.
Oooo, a sexy crack of thunder at 7 a.m.! How exotic!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
huge waist
You know, I was feeling pretty good about my weight loss this morning, but then today I was weighing in and decided to get my measurements so I could see how they'd changed and see how they will change as I continue to lose weight again. Man. Well, for one thing, and maybe it's just the bra I'm wearing, but it's the first time ever that my chest measured as smaller than my waist. I HATE THAT! Besides, before I even took the measurement I looked at myself in the mirror and thought - "Whoa. That doesn't look at all right." My goodness, my shape. And I'm pretty sure that my waist is not happy with the waistband of these jeans. Oh, well, I can look forward to that changing soon and that will feel good.
Oct 13, 224 yay :-)
Ah, the first week of a diet, when the weight just seems to melt away. After 3 days, I'm down 5 pounds from where I started. But still only back to where I was a couple weeks ago when I hit 225 and thought "Darn, I'm getting too fat again!"
No struggles or hunger still - though I will say my roommate left the brownies uncovered last night so this morning as I prepared my food for the day I could smell them too. My mantras took full force - it would be so easy to have *just one* if I hadn't vowed to stay the course completely - for at least 6 weeks, hopefully long enough to have some changes ingrained into me again. As Stephen wrote at whoatemyblog.com today - "The behavior of eating temptations is not good. It leads to giving in to every temptation I run into, and THAT will destroy my weigh-in."
So I'm eating way more cottage cheese this week than I realized when I planned my meal plan for this week. Breakfast this morning was a cup of cottage cheese and a WHOLE BUNCH of fruit - cantaloupe and berries. And 6 macadamia nuts. Honestly, I worried it wouldn't satisfy me. But I only have to last until snack, which will last me until lunch. And trust the meal plan. I haven't felt hunger before, why should I now? That cantaloupe was SO good.
Anyway - weigh-in should be a good one at the end of this week. I *think* my jeans feel less tight - around my waist in particular, more than around my legs, which is really the ideal way for it to happen. That's really important - to fit into my jeans again.
So - today while I'm sitting around doing nothing at work - I need to create a new meal plan and grocery list for next week, and also really put forth some thought into some fitness goals. Core muscles, thighs, and arms, and also butt. Just a few simple exercises like crunches and sit ups and knee lifts and lunges and squats and leg lifts and bicep curls, several times a week should do it.
No struggles or hunger still - though I will say my roommate left the brownies uncovered last night so this morning as I prepared my food for the day I could smell them too. My mantras took full force - it would be so easy to have *just one* if I hadn't vowed to stay the course completely - for at least 6 weeks, hopefully long enough to have some changes ingrained into me again. As Stephen wrote at whoatemyblog.com today - "The behavior of eating temptations is not good. It leads to giving in to every temptation I run into, and THAT will destroy my weigh-in."
So I'm eating way more cottage cheese this week than I realized when I planned my meal plan for this week. Breakfast this morning was a cup of cottage cheese and a WHOLE BUNCH of fruit - cantaloupe and berries. And 6 macadamia nuts. Honestly, I worried it wouldn't satisfy me. But I only have to last until snack, which will last me until lunch. And trust the meal plan. I haven't felt hunger before, why should I now? That cantaloupe was SO good.
Anyway - weigh-in should be a good one at the end of this week. I *think* my jeans feel less tight - around my waist in particular, more than around my legs, which is really the ideal way for it to happen. That's really important - to fit into my jeans again.
So - today while I'm sitting around doing nothing at work - I need to create a new meal plan and grocery list for next week, and also really put forth some thought into some fitness goals. Core muscles, thighs, and arms, and also butt. Just a few simple exercises like crunches and sit ups and knee lifts and lunges and squats and leg lifts and bicep curls, several times a week should do it.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Oct 12 - 226
Gotta make this quick and head out to work. Only 226 today. **pout** Just kidding. I might have hoped for another 2-pound loss instead of just 1 today, but 1 pound in one day is fine, even after only 2 days. I'm still on board, still motivated and using my mental mantras to ignore abrupt urges to reach out and grab something I shouldn't. Also thinking about having to report to this blog has motivated me, too. I can't fall away this time. Only 5 weeks and 5 days until I can have chocolate again! but who's counting? Seriously, I haven't really missed it yet. The hardest part right now is packing up the food, which I have to go do now.
Oh, hey, did I mention my roommate made a pan of brownies my first day on the diet? HAHAHAHA! To make it worse - she isn't one of those people who eats half the pan in one day, she can't tolerate more than a little bit at a time, poor thing, and her boyfriend is on Atkins but I think he had a bite-sized piece. Slowly slowly they are disappearing from their CLEAR GLASS PAN covered in PLASTIC WRAP on the KITCHEN COUNTER - totally visible, under my nose while I prepare my meals - they're about half gone now.
Vinegar shows up a lot. Balsamic vinegar on my tomatoes, red wine vinegar and olive oil on salads, lite red wine vinegar salad dressing... I figured the acidity did something to moderate appetite, especially maybe in conjunction with the fatty olive oil. But I looked it up and apparently it has been suggested that vinegar is good for your blood sugar level. So apparently it's not an accident. When I transition from the Low Glycemic plan, a lot of times it doesn't specify vinegar on your salads but just instructs for a tablespoon or so of any lite salad dressing, so I got myself some light Thousand Island. Frequently I would think I should use the vinegar, but it was a hard decision to make because I sort of gravitate to the Thousand Island. But I felt pretty sure that the Thousand Island wasn't bringing about the same feeling of goodness/satiety that I felt from using the vinegar.
So, yeah - vinegar.
In fear that my size 18s were being worn too many days in a row, I pulled out some clean 16s. These 16s are longs and they have a little elasticity in them. Right now the waistband is sort of digging into my guts a little bit. But these jeans are always tight just after they're washed, and they get real loose after a little wearing. I went for a walk yesterday and felt the tightness of my jeans pulling across my legs as I walked - the size 18s. That was more motivation. I've gotten bigger, need to get smaller.
Two days down, three pounds down, and still seeing indentations from my socks in the puffiness of my legs.
I have to be awake for a long time today. Breakfast at 3:00 a.m., not going to sleep until nearly midnight, probably - unless something can be worked out...
Have a happy!
Oh, hey, did I mention my roommate made a pan of brownies my first day on the diet? HAHAHAHA! To make it worse - she isn't one of those people who eats half the pan in one day, she can't tolerate more than a little bit at a time, poor thing, and her boyfriend is on Atkins but I think he had a bite-sized piece. Slowly slowly they are disappearing from their CLEAR GLASS PAN covered in PLASTIC WRAP on the KITCHEN COUNTER - totally visible, under my nose while I prepare my meals - they're about half gone now.
Vinegar shows up a lot. Balsamic vinegar on my tomatoes, red wine vinegar and olive oil on salads, lite red wine vinegar salad dressing... I figured the acidity did something to moderate appetite, especially maybe in conjunction with the fatty olive oil. But I looked it up and apparently it has been suggested that vinegar is good for your blood sugar level. So apparently it's not an accident. When I transition from the Low Glycemic plan, a lot of times it doesn't specify vinegar on your salads but just instructs for a tablespoon or so of any lite salad dressing, so I got myself some light Thousand Island. Frequently I would think I should use the vinegar, but it was a hard decision to make because I sort of gravitate to the Thousand Island. But I felt pretty sure that the Thousand Island wasn't bringing about the same feeling of goodness/satiety that I felt from using the vinegar.
So, yeah - vinegar.
In fear that my size 18s were being worn too many days in a row, I pulled out some clean 16s. These 16s are longs and they have a little elasticity in them. Right now the waistband is sort of digging into my guts a little bit. But these jeans are always tight just after they're washed, and they get real loose after a little wearing. I went for a walk yesterday and felt the tightness of my jeans pulling across my legs as I walked - the size 18s. That was more motivation. I've gotten bigger, need to get smaller.
Two days down, three pounds down, and still seeing indentations from my socks in the puffiness of my legs.
I have to be awake for a long time today. Breakfast at 3:00 a.m., not going to sleep until nearly midnight, probably - unless something can be worked out...
Have a happy!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Update after one day, continuing personal motivation
First day under my belt with no problems. I almost didn't even eat everything, but then I did. I'm sure the first day was a little easy because I'm not starving yet, I'm still holding on to extra calories from recent days. We'll see if I get at all light-headed in the coming days.
Once or twice I considered "cheating" but I didn't because I had all my food for the day with me and even a schedule of when to eat it. I'm trying to stick to the schedule because I took it very seriously when I first started, back when I was just following ediets prescription to the letter. Breakfast upon rising, snack after 5 hours, Lunch after 2 hours, snack after 5 hours, dinner after 2 hours, right before bed. That's the glycemic plan - the schedule is intended to keep your blood sugar level, without spikes or valleys. Sometimes I might feel like the snack isn't enough after 5 hours, but then I'd remember it's only supposed to tide me over a couple of hours.
I have wasted my 1st two hours of today in bed. (I'm currently waking up around 11 pm and going to sleep around 5pm. I had hoped to get a couple more hours of sleep.) Now I need to get up, wash dishes, and prep food for today as well. Doesn't have to be as much, though, because I am free to come home whenever I want today YAY! Concerned about exercise, I think I will go get on the exercise bike even though it will lose me precious night time - just to make sure I DO exercise today. It would be better to wait until day and then go to the gym, though - it's just a question of whether I trust myself to do that.
Being on this schedule is great except for 2 things - (1) no nightlife, if you can go without it, and (2) an excess of darkness combined with a lack of interpersonal contact can play havoc with my feelings. But I've always liked the sparse population and the quiet of the dead of night and the very early morning ie pre-dawn.
And now my weight loss results after my first day - scale reads 227 - 2 pounds down. Hope those jeans fit better today! I could *almost* hope to get under 200 by New Year, *almost*.
Motivational blurbs time -
want to fit back into those size 16s
want to lose this belly
want to be pretty, dress pretty
It's attainable now, if I stick to it.
Need to go ahead and schedule my meal planning for next week so I don't let it slip by - that has derailed me several times this summer.
"I don't eat that crap." "I'm allergic to chocolate and refined sugars." It's important." "I have all the food I need in my meal plan. It's already taken care of."
Once or twice I considered "cheating" but I didn't because I had all my food for the day with me and even a schedule of when to eat it. I'm trying to stick to the schedule because I took it very seriously when I first started, back when I was just following ediets prescription to the letter. Breakfast upon rising, snack after 5 hours, Lunch after 2 hours, snack after 5 hours, dinner after 2 hours, right before bed. That's the glycemic plan - the schedule is intended to keep your blood sugar level, without spikes or valleys. Sometimes I might feel like the snack isn't enough after 5 hours, but then I'd remember it's only supposed to tide me over a couple of hours.
I have wasted my 1st two hours of today in bed. (I'm currently waking up around 11 pm and going to sleep around 5pm. I had hoped to get a couple more hours of sleep.) Now I need to get up, wash dishes, and prep food for today as well. Doesn't have to be as much, though, because I am free to come home whenever I want today YAY! Concerned about exercise, I think I will go get on the exercise bike even though it will lose me precious night time - just to make sure I DO exercise today. It would be better to wait until day and then go to the gym, though - it's just a question of whether I trust myself to do that.
Being on this schedule is great except for 2 things - (1) no nightlife, if you can go without it, and (2) an excess of darkness combined with a lack of interpersonal contact can play havoc with my feelings. But I've always liked the sparse population and the quiet of the dead of night and the very early morning ie pre-dawn.
And now my weight loss results after my first day - scale reads 227 - 2 pounds down. Hope those jeans fit better today! I could *almost* hope to get under 200 by New Year, *almost*.
Motivational blurbs time -
want to fit back into those size 16s
want to lose this belly
want to be pretty, dress pretty
It's attainable now, if I stick to it.
Need to go ahead and schedule my meal planning for next week so I don't let it slip by - that has derailed me several times this summer.
"I don't eat that crap." "I'm allergic to chocolate and refined sugars." It's important." "I have all the food I need in my meal plan. It's already taken care of."
Sunday, October 10, 2010
10/10/10 229
I've still been gaining weight, watching myself baffled at the way I eat when I let myself go for too long. I was never supposed to be gone this long! I go to the grocery store for my weekly meal plan, then somewhere during the week my plans get interrupted and I think "Well, we'll make a little exception," or I get confused or behind or have to run out the door unexpectedly with no time to prepare food and well, we'll make a little exception. Lately, though, I am feeling very uncomfortable in my size 18s. I am pouring over the top of them, too, and all my clothes that I bought when I was size 16 are now too small.
So, here we go again. A stocked fridge, a simple meal plan. A full week of work ahead of me.
Rededicating. "It's important." I want to be under 200 by the end of the year, wouldn't that be something? At a rate of 2 pounds per week straight, I could come close, but wouldn't make it. And I would rather be the tortoise and win the race than the hare and lose it - it's all about long-term.
I would like to be on the fall plan and be eating squashes and sweet potatoes, but I went on the glycemic plan because what I think is my blood sugar issue is out of control just like it was when I started. I want to feel myself get back in control. I told my Dad - a real person in real life - that I'm quitting chocolate again for 6 weeks. So there ya go. (Yikes!) But seriously - no big deal. "I don't eat that crap." Halloween candy was never my favorite anyway. It's Easter candy season that tempts me!
When I started the first time, I set a goal of losing "any amount of weight" but set a long-term goal of 220, didn't I, a loss of 65 pounds. I have three long-term goal numbers in mind - 199, 192, and 180.
"I don't need to eat anything that isn't on the plan - my meal plan has me covered."
What I'm remembering is that - in the first week or two - I was hungry. Most of the time I was fine, but the first two weeks - maybe more - I felt withdrawal. Waiting 5 hours to eat a small snack, then two more before my meal seemed like it would be hard. But I did it, because I was that obsessed, that desperate, for real results. I shoved almost everything else out of my mind and out of my life and was a dieter.
Apparently I got rid of any size 20 jeans and I'd rather not spend money on jeans any larger. So unless I'm going to start wearing sweatpants, things are getting kinda desperate right now.
I think the past several entries have been me rededicating. I apologize to readers, because I know that's not inspiring and it's kinda sad and pathetic-seeming to readers.
Hopefully next week I'll pop back in and be able to proclaim proudly that I've stuck to it for the whole week. And there should definitely be some water-weight results to make me feel a little better and keep me dedicated.
So, here we go again. A stocked fridge, a simple meal plan. A full week of work ahead of me.
Rededicating. "It's important." I want to be under 200 by the end of the year, wouldn't that be something? At a rate of 2 pounds per week straight, I could come close, but wouldn't make it. And I would rather be the tortoise and win the race than the hare and lose it - it's all about long-term.
I would like to be on the fall plan and be eating squashes and sweet potatoes, but I went on the glycemic plan because what I think is my blood sugar issue is out of control just like it was when I started. I want to feel myself get back in control. I told my Dad - a real person in real life - that I'm quitting chocolate again for 6 weeks. So there ya go. (Yikes!) But seriously - no big deal. "I don't eat that crap." Halloween candy was never my favorite anyway. It's Easter candy season that tempts me!
When I started the first time, I set a goal of losing "any amount of weight" but set a long-term goal of 220, didn't I, a loss of 65 pounds. I have three long-term goal numbers in mind - 199, 192, and 180.
"I don't need to eat anything that isn't on the plan - my meal plan has me covered."
What I'm remembering is that - in the first week or two - I was hungry. Most of the time I was fine, but the first two weeks - maybe more - I felt withdrawal. Waiting 5 hours to eat a small snack, then two more before my meal seemed like it would be hard. But I did it, because I was that obsessed, that desperate, for real results. I shoved almost everything else out of my mind and out of my life and was a dieter.
Apparently I got rid of any size 20 jeans and I'd rather not spend money on jeans any larger. So unless I'm going to start wearing sweatpants, things are getting kinda desperate right now.
I think the past several entries have been me rededicating. I apologize to readers, because I know that's not inspiring and it's kinda sad and pathetic-seeming to readers.
Hopefully next week I'll pop back in and be able to proclaim proudly that I've stuck to it for the whole week. And there should definitely be some water-weight results to make me feel a little better and keep me dedicated.
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