Saturday, March 1, 2014

trying to get back into it - again

It's been a few months.  I continued my daily habit of going to the gym and was really feeling the benefits.  I had to stop to go to work for a week or two, and then I got sick thought exercising would be a bad idea, and that lasted 3 weeks.  After over a month of sedentariness, it's past time to get back to it!  I walked yesterday and felt those crazy tingles in my thighs afterwards, telling me it'd been too long.

I'm going through old pictures - not that old - 2009 - when I lost weight that time - and went hiking and stuff.  My life is so different now - crippled by financial burden and fat again and watching lots of TV series and living with my parents and feeling like this is where I stop.

I took the time and effort to commit to rejoining ediets, which is cheaper now at $10 per month, a downright manageable rate and very sensible compared to the $18 I was paying.  However, I was disappointed.  They've changed.  I didn't like the new look, it didn't seem as convenient to me.  So, I'm back to my box of the old ediets recipes and meal plans.  Wish me luck, I've got to overcome the obstacles of the time it takes to manage the paperwork of it (hopefully not much, and I'm getting an idea about getting those typed up into usable formats, slowly but surely) and beyond that, the challenge of doing it while living with my family.  Much to negotiate.  By the way, I have hit the old high weight of 285, and even a bit above sometimes.  It's almost like I never lost the weight at all, except I have all those photos I've been going through, and piles of clothes I can't fit into.

At this weight, it is about attractiveness almost as much as it is about my knees.  But, oh yeah, my knees are pretty important.

So - guess I'll write up my grocery list and get my gym workout for the day done.

I can't decide which crisis is in need of worse attention - my health crisis or my financial crisis.  Because I think I'm going to put a couple weeks' attention into this health thing, without going back to work right now.  But I'm not decided on that.  I've got to find a few thousand dollars for taxes and health insurance payments in the next few weeks.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

12/10 update

Well, I regained.  I am still going to the gym every day, except a couple times I missed it.  I think the blame mostly lies in not being so attentive to the food going in my mouth.  That loss of focus started when Mom came back.  Now Dad is back.  We all share the same kitchen, they tend to choose cheaper, bulk products that are pretty easy to grab and full of the wrong carbs, like microwave pizzas and crummy chicken pot pies.  Sweets that aren't really *good* but have enough sugar and refined flour to keep me reaching for them.  Now that they are home, I need to try harder.  They both say they want to "go on" "my diet" - I think having realized that would help.  However, they are possibly going to balk at the cost, if they ever figure out which are the wrong foods, and that bringing the wrong foods in the house and hoping I will be able to train myself to have "just a small portion and then stop" is not where I am right now!  Also, I should stop buying movie theatre popcorn.  I've been going out to the movies kind of a lot - 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club, Thor 2, last night a great flick called Rare Exports.  Today I'm thinking Frozen.  For some reason all my Facebook friends are going to see it and oohing and so on over it.  I actually did high school theatre with the lyricist, and I am kind of enchanted with the idea of a female lead with secret enchantress powers.  So my reasons not to go to a Disney animated movie are dwindling, despite the fact that I *usually* am less responsive to kid's movies than some of my friends.  (I have this debate thingy with a friend who says Pixar is awesome, and I'm ready to agree it's great and all that except I don't want to see any of their movies.  Most of them just plain look ugly to me.  For instance, Toy Story - looked ugly, nothing about it attracted me, and I figured I'd just never see it.  EVERYONE says it's JUST WONDERFUL and someone told me I really should check it out despite my misgivings.  Having seen it, I figure it's fine for kids - rather dull tale for grown-ups, despite revolutionary tech behind it and the star-studded cast - but I'm more convinced than ever that I should listen to my inner voice when deciding which kids' movies *I* want to see or not.  I did love Wall-E, by Pixar.  But that's it.)

Anyway, I gained a little weight back which is sad.  I stopped tracking my exercise and calories at LoseIt, so I can't point out the reason, but I'm sure it has to do with reaching out for too many of the wrong foods.  The slackening probably started around Thanksgiving!

I need to start working in weight lifting.  I tried yesterday.  I found that attempting to use the heavy weights I'm used to on my legs (especially the leg extension) was kinda crunchy and painful on my knee.  So I used lighter weights and lifted for a while.  It was all a bit more freestyle than I'm used to - I need to find the right system at the gym and hopefully be able to track my proper weights for each machine.  Today, I only feel it in my triceps.  And I'm looking at myself sitting on my bed now with the amount my belly is sticking out, my fat upper arms.  But I am resigned that now it's no longer about appearance, it's about maintaining a system for improving my health and then living healthily.  It's just that I hope that will involve taking some weight off these joints eventually!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

12/3/13 275

I don't know why, I come to blogger today and it says I'm not subscribed to any blogs, so my bloglist is blank.

As for me, I'm only here to express frustration that the scale hasn't dropped yet.  Maybe it's the wanton ingestion of Thanksgiving leftovers.  Or anything else.  It's not ultimately all about the weight loss, but I do want to weigh less than I am right now, and I was just eager to see some results today.  Especially since I was craving that brownie a la mode, or any chocolate, all day yesterday and resisted.

Speaking of muscle gain, yesterday I felt like my thighs were especially rock hard.  I have not started the weight lifting yet.  One thing about the cardio is, I get a lot of Netflix watched, and reading done.  But weightlifting would not lend itself to multi-tasking.  Boo hoo.  Lifting myself out of the bathtub, my arms feel weak.

You know, my natural state seems to be to live very slow.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Well, I took 3 days off.  I took off from exercise because of some serious ailments.  Looking back, I think I'd been exercising every day for 3 weeks straight.  But I figured since it was pretty light cardio it was OK.  Anyway I had thriving gains in weird places in my knee and foot, but after two days of I realized the throbbing pain was gone.  Almost by accident I missed the gym on Friday, but fortunately, due largely to the fact that, with me still not working, exercise and health are taking top priority for me.  So I went back today and did 90 minutes while reading Sherlock Holmes mysteries.  30 walking, 30 doing light elliptical (though light, HR at over 140) and 30 of light walking.  I meant to take it easy today, so when I began to feel strange sparkles variously around my body in the second hour, which I have no idea why I was associating that with a lack of electrolytes, I started to feel guilty about overworking myself.  Would stomping on the treadmill for an hour, even fairly slowly, be good for knees and feet like I promised I'd be?  In otherwise, I go to the gym promising to take it easy, but once there I can't resist pushing a little.  At least i'm still to lazy to push a lot.

Despite an excess of pumpkin pie with sugar-free cool whip, wine, movie theatre popcorn and Raisinettes (I saw 2 movies, Dallas Buyers Club and Thor: the Dark World) I didn't gain significantly.  I think I was 274 on Wednesday and today I was 275.  That was before breakfast at home.  After breakfast, on the scale at the gym, I was 289.9!  Not much surprise that it's higher, but it hurts to see that.  I wonder if I'd have made it to 300 pounds at the doctors office scale.  Our Thanksgiving dinner was pretty OK - we really don't go overboard with casseroling our vegetables or aging to many sugars, creams, and though there was surely butter, it wasn't excessive.  That's just our way; mom prepared the whole meal.

And a turkey sandwich with dressing and cranberry and gravy would be good pretty soon.  :-)

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

hobbled

ARGH!  Knee and foot pain are still there this morning.  If there are stress fractures, they want me not to exercise for weeks?  I'm trying to decide if I want to even do swimming but I just don't know whether swimming kicks would be a good idea.  CURSES!  I will stay home.  Tomorrow I may do yoga.  That's gonna hurt.  Maybe by the weekend I'll feel ready to return to the gym.  To be honest this strange foot pain that throbs in and out - I don't know WHEN it started showing up.  Could have been months ago I just don't know.  There seems to be a ligament that pops over an ankle bone of some sorts, so maybe it's just an aggravated ligament or something.

The good news is that weight has been lost again.  Actually seeing results, so keep it up, Hallie.
a pain in the knee again today and a pain on the top of my foot that's been there a while but i don't know when it started.  little throbs that come and go.  mini-fractures?  arthritis?  do I need to stay off my feet?  cuz that would suck.  NO MORE SETBACKS!  Gonna rule out diabetes because no numbness or tingling.  Gonna hope it's not MS!  No family history - I think.  Just watching Pres Bartlett struggling with first symptoms of MS and I'm not having that or any kind of clumsiness.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hi.

So I told you that I took Sunday off from exercising but I somehow failed to mention that my lower back was really sore yesterday.  As a result, I treated my workout at the gym more like a walking back massage than a push-myself workout because I didn't want to hurt myself.  Hurts again today, hopefully not as much.

When I got on the scale, readings ranged from 280-272 - like a huge range.  At first it registered at the high end, but then as I kept standing on it, it dropped.  It felt really good every time I saw it as less than 277, and really bad every time I saw it as 277 and above.  I was going to claim 275, but I think I'll claim 276 and be happy it seems to be working and not distress if it's slow.  Although I'm in a hurry to get some weight off my joints, I guess I'm still fine with losing weight.