May 20, 205

Hi. It's been a while. I'm not even going to check and see how long it's been since I've even signed in to blogger. I hope everyone is having excellent success with their missions. I made it through my intense work period and am gradually (very gradually) getting back into the swing of things. I started back on the meal plan a couple days ago (this is day 3) and am doing well. I have veered from the plan but stayed in control. Feelings of withdrawal and restriction gave way to a familiar sense of moderation and satisfaction with less. Instead of going into the kitchen and grabbing up a full bowl of cereal and wildly piecing together a fast breakfast, I'm enjoying measured and sensible oatmeal and turkey bacon. When I'm caught with "my pants down" so to speak, I make considered and sensible substitutions to the meal plan. Keep meaning to return to exercise but haven't yet - too much time with my laptop is mostly responsible for that, just not clicking the little X in the top right corner. I haven't been weighing myself much over the past few weeks but I have seen weights as high as 209. After one day on the diet, water weight must have come off and now I am 205. That's really impressive, actually, not much of an increase at all, when you consider how I've been living. Now it seems I am back on plan, so that's also encouraging, that I can bring myself back when I've gone over the edge. I actually began to get worried about that. I physiologically changed inside. I forgot what eating well looked and felt like. My eating whims changed. I ate at restaurants. That could be nice sometimes, but not exclusively. I was back to the way I was before I started this plan. I can't explain it.

I went shopping last night on a whim. I was so excited about my size 16 gorgeous mini dress (I think I took a picture - I'll try to post it) that I wore to the Opera the other day, and the other dresses I tried on that had looked so good. Well last night, the clothes were crappy and they looked bad on me and I didn't feel at all good about my appearance. I really want to get into an exercise routine now, too, to improve as well as I can my flabby sack of skin!

Okay, so, what was that number again? Oh yeah, 198. Whew, still looking down at 198. Haha!