Sunday, May 2, 2010

May 2, 207

You know when I started losing weight, and when I started this blog, I not only weighed myself every day, but I recorded it every day. It was so much fun losing weight then. I lost weight on a steady stream from March to about October, and then things slowed down. Whether life was getting in the way or I was intentionally slowing down, or I was as I have been the past several weeks - still dieting, but then having allowances that would interfere with weight loss progress - a restaurant meal, a few too many chocolate minis, an all-out binge. It used to be that when my roommate would have parties, I would dutifully eat my planned food no matter how weird it seemed. Friday she hosted a baby shower and I ate the chicken-cheese dip that was prepared, and then had some cake. "Why not?" And a lot of "Why not?" and "What the hell?" gets said. And it's been okay. Even though it seems to be taking me forever to bounce down to my goal of being under 200 pounds, I've already lost a lot of weight and I'm a size 16 and things are "pretty good" and, as I previously blogged, I've been satisfied. I took a beach trip for a few days and though I packed two days worth of food, I still had several traditional beach joys - tiki bar, fried captain's platter, ice cream sundae... So I haven't been as goal-minded lately.

Saturday was weigh-in day, and grocery day. I was very concientious that I had to buy groceries that day because I had a heavy week of work ahead of me and didn't have time to deal with it after. I got my laundry done and my groceries shopped for in preparation for my intense week of long hours and stress.

And at some point during the day I decided I wanted to engage in a couple of "special treats" - crepes at the Original Pancake House and also try this Ethiopian/Eritrean restaurant that I'd long been wanting to try out. And then on Sunday - today - I would begin 4 solid weeks of austere adherence to the meal plan. 4 solid weeks of "No Exceptions." No chocolate (except the sugar-free chocolate pudding or whatever might be on the meal plan), no goodies. Just the same as I was in the beginning - all my food is provided for on the meal plan, so there should be no need to cheat - if I feel an urge I can say "You don't need/want that - you're already taken care of."

It is, of course, my intention to stick to this 4-week pledge. It is also my hope that, at 1400-1500 calories per day, at the end of 4 weeks of strict adherence, I will push under 200 and reach that ever-loving goal of 198. I started today and so far, so good. I mean - obviously I started last night when I stayed up so late cooking and preparing and packing meals for the next day or few. But today I'm adhering to the eating part, and I had a pretty good test moment to help me define my devotion to this (and devotion is a very relevant word in this matter) - At work, there were Krispy Kreme doughnuts provided for the crew at break time. I LOVE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS! And last week I would have said "Why not?" or "What power have I against this tide?" and had a couple like everyone else on the crew did. But I ignored the doughnuts and had nary a one. Pretty good for a first day. I still have to go do an untold number of hours of work so I ate most of my dinner, but left the bin of cantaloupe to eat later if I begin to feel noshy or weak.

Now, on to another topic.

To me it seems like I lost lots of weight last year and this year only a little, so slow, and not so much recently. So it's a bit perplexing to me that suddenly NOW I'm being barraged with comments and have to deal with them. "You're looking good," from people who know I've lost weight. "Skinny," from Brenda who hasn't seen me much in months. "Allright, what's your secret?" from Jerry. And then there's a lot of these which confuse me, too -> "Do you look different? Have you lost some weight?" I mean, I remember in November and December that one security guard was marveling that I was wasting away, and that made more sense to me to hear that then. But now, after having lost 80 pounds, to have some people saying "Do you look different? Have you lost a little weight?"

I've just had so many comments in the past 3 days or so that you might think I'd just dropped 40 pounds, instead of basically sitting at 205 give or take for weeks the way I have. To have a guy who's seen me pretty regularly for the past several months say to me the other day "Your diet's really working" NOW when I don't feel like I'm losing weight...

Well, it's interesting, but there's no way for me to comprehend it so I'm not going to try.

27 days and some change left to go!


Christine said...

You can do this...and like you said above, I am not surprised you've dropped it slowly.
THis is the lowest you've been, you feel good and YOUR SATISFIED.
I think that is a key phrase.
To want to keep moving you kind of have to be UNsatisfied with your present condition.
I have hit 160 and am unsatisfied yet.
Of course, I think this is because I still have fat in my stomach and other areas...I also have been a size 8 once.
I remember what I looked like...vividly.
I want that back.
I am glad you are moving forward.
Good luck with your meal plans and this coming month.

Anonymous said...