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Ok, I am down a little bit. As much as I peed since yesterday, I figured that was a good sign that the scale would show its water retention release. But I'm only down 2 pounds, and that's after skipping a significant chunk of yesterday's calories, though I also did add a berry latte (made from some powdered stuff) at the movie theatre (better than popcorn, anyway, and I didn't drink the whole thing.) There's a lot of food in this week's meals - the meals seem hard to eat for all the crunching on vegetables.

But I'm not going to harp on negatives in this blog. I like vegetables.

I meant to tell you that my doctor called me and told me, not that my cholesterol is bad (it's good) and not that I have diabetes, but that my thyroid is underproducing and she wants to put me on Synthroid. Both my parents are taking Synthroid. It's taken me two weeks to get back to her with a pharmacy to send the drugs to, for various reasons, including that I can't decide how to pick a pharmacy. Does anyone remember me complaining about indecision and confusion and lethargy? I am wondering, actually, if this treatment will result in improvement in those areas. Yet I am also nervous about starting a treatment regimen that will replace my organs at producing my hormones, for the rest of my life. The rest of my life, we hope, is a long long time still, to be taking a pill in the morning and at night. I might do better to just get along with an underactive thyroid like they did back in the day. I would prefer that my doctor talk to me about the drug instead of just give me a call with the name of a syndrome and a prescription that I'm just supposed to start taking. I know I should trust my doctor, too... I couldn't find any (many) thyroid replacement drug horror stories when I looked for them on the internet. There doesn't seem to be a big crusade against it...

Today, I don't feel like exercising. I have to be at work in 7.5 hours and have other things I want to do between now and then. Maybe I'll eventually get inspired to do some exercise. A full session of weightlifting takes me an hour, not including getting to and from the gym and being in the locker room.

I'll tell you what is true for me - it seems like, in order for me to stick to a diet, based on the success I had before, I have to do it with a sort of fatalism. No you can't do that, you have to diet.

I saw "I Am" yesterday and came out from it behaving much more pleasantly to other people. I frequently know this is a part of life where my actions don't match my values, because I believe in community and love, yet I am shy and retiring and never say hello to anyone unless they say hello to me first. The Dalai Lama is so inspiring how he smiles to greet people. It was hard to decide to see the movie because I hadn't ever heard of it, so I checked RottenTomatoes and the critics only had given it 40% good reviews. I'm not 100% behind the math and justifications of the movie, but I was inspired by it all the same. I loved the part that explained that we focus too much on the competitiveness and aggression and the strong-tramples-weak aspect of darwinism and not nearly enough on the cooperative aspects needed for survival.

I also loved this article: The Modern Mind and Social Nature