So my blog has completely gone from being the inspirational weight loss example I maniacally thought it would be over a year ago and has become "Golly I hope I don't gain it all back."
I'm holding steady. Today I'm 223 or so, I've been 222-223 all week. The week has been successful, as far as watching what I eat, choosing my meals sensibly - choosing whole natural foods with carbs, fats, and proteins suitably dispersed, and sweets and treats in moderation (usually) taking note of when I start to feel out of control. Day before yesterday I planned a meal and prepared it for myself and my family. While visiting I had about 8 tortilla chips (the regular kind) and 2 tablespoons of chocolate fudge icing I found in the fridge. I didn't count my calories after breakfast - by that point, if damage was done it was done. But I felt altogether good about it. Yesterday I met my mother for an event at which food was provided. I had too much of the cake for dessert. Felt very full afterward though, which kept me from eating any more that night, until on the way home I got some gumdrops and chocolate.
I wound up eating all the gumdrops over the next few hours as I read in bed until late, but strangely, most of the Hershey's special dark chocolate bar is still in my purse 24 hours later, and I think it will last until tomorrow at least.
Also, the Ben & Jerry's ice cream is still in my freezer! And I only just finished off the dark chocolate covered cranberries today, after my meal of 10 shrimp, 1/2 acorn squash with light butter and brown sugar, and a rice/broccoli/cheese casserole. With 2 Woodchuck ciders I have gone over my calorie allotment, but I'm not sure how much to lash myself for drinking too many calories from a moderate amount of alcohol. Not too much, I'm inclined right now.
All this has been well and good, but the question is, will it stay well and good when I start working again. I have been practically housebound, with no work and not allowing myself to spend money. At least my mood is up from where it was a couple weeks ago. Weight loss is not my only priority anymore and I'm also very focused on mental competence, reading, and creativity. And trying to figure out if I should stay where I am in life, and if I should move on, then where to? But actually I've been distracted from that question lately.
So, I'd rather be 215 now, for sure, but I am enjoying this new relationship with food.