Friday, November 19, 2010

Nov 19, 223 going pretty good

So my blog has completely gone from being the inspirational weight loss example I maniacally thought it would be over a year ago and has become "Golly I hope I don't gain it all back."

I'm holding steady. Today I'm 223 or so, I've been 222-223 all week. The week has been successful, as far as watching what I eat, choosing my meals sensibly - choosing whole natural foods with carbs, fats, and proteins suitably dispersed, and sweets and treats in moderation (usually) taking note of when I start to feel out of control. Day before yesterday I planned a meal and prepared it for myself and my family. While visiting I had about 8 tortilla chips (the regular kind) and 2 tablespoons of chocolate fudge icing I found in the fridge. I didn't count my calories after breakfast - by that point, if damage was done it was done. But I felt altogether good about it. Yesterday I met my mother for an event at which food was provided. I had too much of the cake for dessert. Felt very full afterward though, which kept me from eating any more that night, until on the way home I got some gumdrops and chocolate.

I wound up eating all the gumdrops over the next few hours as I read in bed until late, but strangely, most of the Hershey's special dark chocolate bar is still in my purse 24 hours later, and I think it will last until tomorrow at least.

Also, the Ben & Jerry's ice cream is still in my freezer! And I only just finished off the dark chocolate covered cranberries today, after my meal of 10 shrimp, 1/2 acorn squash with light butter and brown sugar, and a rice/broccoli/cheese casserole. With 2 Woodchuck ciders I have gone over my calorie allotment, but I'm not sure how much to lash myself for drinking too many calories from a moderate amount of alcohol. Not too much, I'm inclined right now.

All this has been well and good, but the question is, will it stay well and good when I start working again. I have been practically housebound, with no work and not allowing myself to spend money. At least my mood is up from where it was a couple weeks ago. Weight loss is not my only priority anymore and I'm also very focused on mental competence, reading, and creativity. And trying to figure out if I should stay where I am in life, and if I should move on, then where to? But actually I've been distracted from that question lately.

So, I'd rather be 215 now, for sure, but I am enjoying this new relationship with food.


bd160 said...

If you can hold steady in your weight loss journey while being distracted with other challenges in your life, that's a success in my book.

When it comes right down to it, weight loss should not be the only thing in life that we focus on. You are much more than just a number on a scale! Congratulations on your new relationship with food!!! :D

Splurgie said...

I've been at this for over a year also. Oddly enough I decided not to try so hard. It was back-firing. I'm aiming for 1/2 pound a week (with no creeping gains). If I did that last year, I'd be 10 pounds lighter than I am now ... and I wouldn't have gained and lost the same weight over and over.

You're so right. Life is about so much more than weight loss.