Friday, October 22, 2010

A new decade!

Oo, la la! The scale seems pretty well settled under 220 today. 219.5 I'm claiming officially. Just yesterday I was thinking how boring and frustrating it was starting to feel, losing weight I already lost months ago. But this "passing the long line" of 220 and into a new decade feels very refreshing! And exciting as well, I could now, at 2 pounds per week, see 199 by New Year's Eve. It's still a long way from 180, or feels like it. So impatient am I.

I was also thinking yesterday about how strange it is - three weeks ago I was pounding down candy bars daily - like around 3 or so per day. Don't get me wrong - it was nice! But what's strange is that it was hard to imagine NOT doing it. And yet to remember that not too long ago it was hard to imagine eating that much chocolate/sugar/candy all at once.

Yesterday was a crummy day for me. Hormones took over me and made me very very moody. Very sad for the things I do not have, can never have, and will probably never have. That sadness and desperation is always there, but yesterday it took me over. While it was kind of nice to feel sorry for myself, hopefully today will be a bit more up. (I actually considered the possibility that my loss on the scale was due to all the weight I lost in TEARS and all the calories I burned WRITHING IN DESPAIR.)

I also had a Midori Sour last night. Not on the plan, but I did stop at one. Just really felt like the right night for it.

Last night I put on my size 16 dress. It stretched over my curves like a wetsuit, revealing everything. I kinda wanted to wear it tonight. I'm really in the mood to get out and buy a new outfit, something that makes me look hot. I just don't know if that's possible with this belly. ARGH! Plus I shouldn't be spending money. I just paid off my credit card (which had begun to carry a balance over the summer) but I owe my savings $1000 and I don't think I'm getting another check for a *while.*

Anyway, I'd better hurry, to get up, make breakfast, get primped and dressed and out the door, go to the farmer's market, buy hottie clothes, and go to my show's preview tonight.


Chrissie said...

Congratulations on breaking through that 220 barrier! Especially after the hormonal day you had yesterday, if that had been me I'd have eaten at least 2lbs of chocolate on a day like that! I know what you mean about it feeling good to feel sorry for yourself, sometimes a little bit of wallowing is therapeutic!
Enjoy the preview tonight

cmoursler said...

congrats on your new decade...keep up the good work.

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

:))))))))) about the loss.
and no worries about the crying. it's good for us!