here's how it happens sometimes

So I'm totally a stress eater, fuh sho. And, like, stress has been building up over time lately. One more thing on top of one more thing, one more day on top of the next, can't get everything done. Taxes have been playing a role, because they've been on my mind of things I need to get done, but haven't been able to focus on it for a while due to work. Then yesterday I lost my phone while run-walking to work, and I spent hours dealing with that. So today I retraced my steps again (stress), had a little interruption of false hope that kept me waiting still longer (stress), then went and bought a new phone (stress) - having driven across town in sluggish thick daytime traffic (stress) - then made efforts to get my taxes done, which involved several trips back and forth across town due to this form I left behind or this checkbook I forgot to bring with (I seriously drove over 60 miles today). At 8:30 I'm at the post office mailing my tax forms and facebooking my need for liquor. So I went by a bar and had 3 Jack-and-Cokes while playing Mahjong and got quite delightfully soused. Decide I'm dizzy enough and head out, and could you guess - I'm ready to totally abandon my diet. The Dairy Queen across the street is closed (I was going to buy the "Brownie Earthquake" and have just a couple bites) and as I drove home looking for gas (stress) and knowing I'm supposed to cook dinner at home (chicken something) I am FEELING more like... that McDonald's over there, and I go through the drivethru and get a Quarter Pounder and a hot fudge sundae.

The good news is I'm not here at home ready to pig out. I'm actually ready to gulp down too much liquor as I read, play video games, watch movies (Mendy, Carl Sagan Cosmos, Buffy Season 3 on hulu) and fall asleep too early for the party crowd. Tomorrow is another full day - "vacation" - but with a married guy I've never hung out with before, and my Dad, all day, and do I need to pack all my food for the day??? (stress)

All of this totally failing to mention the little breakdown I dealt with when I stopped in to donate blood at the Red Cross and was rejected - not for iron, but because of my heart. My pulse was too low, and also the nurse mentioned some irregular heart beats. I came home and freaked out. On the one hand, I feel fine - I had a workout this morning, I jogged 1.5 miles the other day without a hitch, I actually felt enthusiastic and energetic today alongside all that stress and healthy and all that, without feeling numbness or dizziness or any of that, but god knows I'm no great athlete either - nothing I read on the websites seemed to connect to my feelings and my pulse as reported by the Red Cross nurse. So on my outings today I went to the Rite Aid and sat at the blood pressure machine and had several readings in a row. It says the monitor was made to read arms from 9-13 inches, and mine is more like 15 inches, but still, my reading was perpetually very low for blood pressure, and my pulse came out around 57-61, not the 49 the Red Cross nurse reported. I have to get health insurance and go see a doctor. I haven't had a checkup in years.