Tuesday, April 6, 2010

hiatus

I won't go into the details or excuses for my hiatus. I feel no guilt or regret and it's been great for me. I guess after a year I just needed to, wanted to. Even though work is still stressful this week, I can't allow my hiatus to last another day, so I'm back on the plan today. I keep trying to press down below 207, 205, 200... and going off the wagon and bouncing back up. The other time I lost a lot of weight in my 20s, 207 was the low point that I bounced up from. My high school weight was around 210-215 by graduation. I wonder if there is some sort of natural barrier or plateau for me at this weight? Not impenetrable, but something that makes it hard to push past. Dropping below that might even entail letting go of a part of who I am (inasmuch as psychological understanding of self is affected by physiological understanding of self) which could be hard on me since I am rather attached to my own identity.

Weight today 210.