Today I stood on the scale a couple handfuls of times. It stopped at 307.2 3 of those times and that felt like a reasonable reduction that would save me the pain I'm sure that I'm due from too much weight loss. One day the measurement will be too high. Unless I'm really losing weight. I tried to get a more official weight by going to the YMCA and standing on the medical scale they have in the women's locker room, but it was flawed and after futzing with it, my best reading was about 313. That's still lower than it's been. I wonder how long it would take, if I were able to maintain tenacity to this diet, to get under 300 pounds. Then I would feel comfortable going to the doctor and proving I am really finally trying and succeeding at losing weight. I have a couple of friends on Facebook who have had the gastro surgery and are showing that mad success. I have another friend who did it years ago and he could have been 500 pounds for all I know, he was very big, and he lost all of it and has regained some, like you do, but not all of it. He, for sure, I approved of him getting that surgery. He really needed it. The other two I'm not as sure but I don't question it so much. I wonder if I should have done it sometimes. The idea of having my guts permanently cut out sounds untenable to me. But my dad, after esophageal cancer, has had his whole esophagus taken out and his stomach pulled up to his throat like a new esophagus. He lost a lot of weight and had a hard time regaining. Then even he started to look almost pudgy, until he got these latest teeth problems making it harder for him to eat again.
Anyway I was good today. I turned down an ice cream sandwich. I even refused to enjoy a mint that someone gave me without my even realizing it was happening. People are throwing food at me! Today they talk about Baby Ruth and I find myself wanting a Baby Ruth. I want a yogurt. But so far I am good.
Problem is I have no time to go to the grocery store. At this point I think I'm going to order grocery delivery. Have to get through next week. Then there *will* be an interruption when I go to the family reunion on the Outer Banks. We'll call that cheat weekend. It's 2 weeks away, though, I might should have a cheat before then. I am excited about my current weight loss, though, and hesitate to counteract it.
I haven't been able to tell that my clothes fit any differently, but today I did find myself running my hands around my neck and thinking it felt less fatty there. That's a great place to lose weight, and one of the last places I remember gaining and thinking "this is awful". I don't like the feel of my jaw fat and my chest fat forming a fold - gross. But that's how it's been for me in this reclining position for a while. Not so much tonight, I think possibly.
Though it's too much to ask, I hope hope hope I weigh even less tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment