June 9, 305.1

Let's be clear, 305.1 is the highest of the numbers my scale rolled through just now.  Yesterday I was having a conversation in my head when I suddenly realized how close I am to being able to say I've lost 20 pounds!  All of a sudden after feeling stuck at only 6 pounds lost for so long.  I can't really tell where it's gone from right now.  Like I said recently, I recently read that it's the hard internal abdominal fat around the organs that disappears first, which I'd love.  Some time ago recently I stated that I imagined I felt less fatty in the neck area, but I can't be sure.  Just now I had my hand on my buttcheek and imagined maybe it felt different, smaller.  Last night I twisted at the waist and imagined it felt easier, freer.  I squeeze my belly fat and think it feels more squishy than it did when I started.  I haven't noticed for sure that any clothes feel different.  My umbilical mass is still there and I still don't know what it is.

I look forward to being able to report 20 pounds weight loss!  But more important to be able to report that I weigh under 300 pounds, when I'll feel better about making my doctor appointment.  When the genie lift that refused to lift me last year will presumably choose to lift me, not that we work there anymore.

My diet involves meal planning.  A diet full of veggies, small portions of meat, low-fat dairy, fruits, and whole grains.  Generally no cake or cookies or candy but I am usually thrilled with the fruit or yogurt.  I do not do a good enough job reporting these foods to Lifesum so I can know how many calories I eat.  I'll try to do that today.  I get the meals from the diet I did at the beginning of this blog back in 2009.  I have a lot of food prep to do today to get me through the weekend, and I guess grocery store on Monday to stay adherent.  This week I've been having more microwave meals with salads (and this delicious French-style yogurt called 'oui.'). Next week maybe I can cook more.  After having had that impromptu cheat the other day of a little cookies and candy, I was offered a Klondike bar yesterday from someone I'd very much like to receive treats from and had to just say "thank you" while watching all the guys grab one.  Unfortunately I can't just accept ice cream whenever offered and hope to maintain adherence to a weight loss regimen.  It's not that I can't eat ice cream.  I just have to be in control of when it happens, like once a week.