August 3, 245

The fallout from two days of family reunion - 5 pounds gained.

Sure, and most of it's probably just water weight. I could tell I was feeling puffier, isn't that funny? And some of it is probably unreleased waste matter.

After those two days off, it's almost hard to imagine coming back to a meal plan. I even feel a little bit like flying off on an impromptu trip to wherever and damn the cost, and have little interest in returning to contact with my "real" life - the people and activities in it. This can happen to me with a little time away from my real life. And when I came home last night, I did jump right back into the meal plan (hello tomatoes, egg whites and Newman's Own lite red wine vinegar and olive oil dressing) complete with skipping dinner when I was too sleepy to bother with it.

Lunch yesterday was corn dogs, crinkle-cut french fries, and funnel cake fries. For breakfast the first day, I ate a little bit too much overall, and once I had the blue koolaid and once when there were no diet sodas I had a cherry Sun Drop. For the rest of the meals, I remembered to eat with moderation and always piled up the tomatoes and cucumbers on my plate, but the food was prepared and served by the cafeteria workers with whatever methods of preparation they chose.

Between meals, there were snacks like cookies, cakes, and brownies, and without being adherent to any kind of plan or in total control of my own food access, I didn't have the wherewithal or the desire to "say no." I didn't eat myself into oblivion and pig out on the cakes and cookies and brownies, but I allowed myself to have them and sometimes had one or two more than I should have if I hoped not to gain 5 pounds.

Then, on the drive home yesterday afternoon, I bought 2 Hershey's dark chocolate bars and 1 Mr. Goodbar. I had a craving and indulged it while I was still in my off-time.

All in all, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm back up to 245 in only 2 days and I understand that, after an initial reaction of "damn," I'm pretty ok with it. I'll lose it again, especially the water weight, and get back on track.

I did have an extraordinary walk - bursting with energy and motivated by the love of exploring new territory, I pounded away into the North Carolina humidity and countryside and had a great walk.

As I tried to sit back and observe myself this weekend, wondering how much of my eating behavior was merely the result of being relieved from restriction and how moderate I could be - I'm thinking ahead to the time that I have to maintain weight loss, still not sure how that's going to happen.

Things that are running through my head when I think ahead to maintenance are -

- know how many calories you are to eat to maintain. this may take a few weeks to discover

- have a list of meals I regularly eat. Design these meals to have the right amount of proteins, fats, and carbs and limited sugars to help control appetite. Have the ingredients for these meals stocked at all times.

- have a list of meals I can eat out if I find myself out and needing to eat.

- I think about having a calorie-count book at home and in the car to reference. On the other hand, I don't feel like I want to be counting calories my whole life - eventually I want to be able to get away with that.

- live relatively carefully on auto-pilot for a while and only allow sweets once per week. When I've gained 5-10 pounds, go back on the diet. Never gain more than 10 pounds.

My first major goal weight is 220. Supposedly going to achieve it in October. So some time between now and then, I need to prepare this little book of recipes for me to live by. I guess I'll be working on that.

Another thing, the closer I get to 220, the more I feel like that's not even going to sort of be enough for me to see the kind of changes I want to see. But 220 is a point that is lower than any set point I've had in a long time, so I will have a little rest stop there and let my body get used to being settled there. (Like taking a break as you go deep-sea diving to let your body get used to the pressure, or as you climb Mt. Everest to let your body get used to the oxygen.)

When I do decide to lose beyond 220, I'll probably update my plan to involve more physical body-training and toning. Maybe I'll head for 180 after that, and see how 180 looks and feels on me.

This is all just thinking ahead though. For right now, I am still:

* following the ediets meal plan to 220 pounds
* weight-training to maintain muscle mass
* yoga to increase flexibility, strength, mind-body connection, and mental focus
* developing a list of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks to live on and have accessible during maintenance mode.

I have to make an assignment list for myself for this week today. Perhaps I'll post it here later.

UPDATE: See, just an hour or so later and I'm already down to 243.5. Doing okay.