Thursday, November 5, 2009


The scale was a little reduced today, I was glad to see. I decided that the word for me the past few days has been Ravenous. For some reason, I was full of urges that I couldn't or didn't suppress - I just had this voracious appetite that was not satisfied by my meal plan.

Today - I have remained on plan, and not been tempted to binge. The only exception was to substitute a cup of General Foods International Coffee for a half a cup of milk - a pretty fair trade calories-wise. True, I've only been awake for 12 hours. I forced myself to drink a full glass of water in the hopes that that would help - maybe part of the problem was dehydration.

I need to get back to working out. I feel muscularly weak for me.

Do any of you ever look around to your friends and relatives who are overweight and wish they would join you in your efforts. If it were anything else, you'd just ask them to join you and not worry about the answer. But to ask someone to join you in weight loss, or I suppose any self-improvement regime, is different - it's touchy, they might interpret it like I want to change them, or like I think that my way is the best way for them. Which isn't the case. I already know that these people want to lose weight - they've declared it openly to me. It's just for me to have some companionship in this LONG lonely battle. My roommate, who's been saying for weeks/months that my weight loss and commitment have inspired her and she wants to lose weight, but she is just not ready to start for herself yet. Even if she did, she'd wouldn't join me, she'd never do it the same way I did - sometimes I think we have this weird competition thing going, which I would love to see dissolve. And it would be awful to incorporate competition between us into this struggle. So maybe it's just as well. My mother has always been a good diet partner, especially when we were living together, but she hasn't got on board and followed my example now either, leading me to suppose she's got other priorities right now, or just doesn't feel like giving up the good food. Another friend of mine has a lot of weight to lose, and actually started a weight loss program within the past few months, but it didn't last and he gave up and quit and fell into the glut of defeatism. The last thing I need to do is get on my soapbox and be superior to him.

So, I guess I just have to rely on my online buddies to keep me inspired and motivated.

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