August 28, 234

Thanks to Mae Flowers for noticing I had lost 50 pounds as of yesterday. I didn't really have the ability to write any more about it. As of today, we can make that 51 pounds and I am happy about it.

Yesterday I worked in the out-of-doors, setting up and taking down a rock concert at an outdoor venue. The weather was humid. The work is physical. For the load-out, I was pretty early on assigned to be a "pusher" - pushing boxes up the ramp to the truck. A couple hours of that was a good cardiovascular exercise and I feel like more than a good enough substitute for going to the gym. Glad to see I'm still vigorous when I have to be! Though I am overdue for getting back to the gym to lift weights. And my absence from weightlifting may even be part of the reason the scale's finally reading lower numbers this week.

I've been working these rock-and-roll shows - three in the past few weeks so far - and they give out these t-shirts to the local crew and I've been getting size XL. Not 2XL or 3XL - just XL. These size XL t-shirts feel a little close on me, but they fit, and that's really something! Previously I had to feel a little ashamed because when they gave out t-shirts.

I wonder how much more weight I'll have to lose to reach a size L.

As I have started losing weight again, and getting closer to my first long-term goal of 220 pounds (65 pounds lost) I have had indications that 220 is not going to be a stopping point for me. One major indication is my belly. It is still hanging too large above the belly button (aggravating since that was one of the last things to happen to me at high weight, I'd have hoped it would be one of the first to undo itself as I lost weight, but no - my shape remains largely the same, just smaller, I guess - I assume, because my clothing sizes are smaller.) I can tell I'm going to have to lose a lot more fat before the belly begins to approximate a normal midsection - in fact I may just have to go "all the way."

The other indication is, of course, knowing that - without a meal plan, I have not lost my internal eating habits. I love sweets, and want extra portions of them, and extra portions of mashed potatoes with butter, etc... Without a plan I'm lost, and I want to have plenty of "wiggle-room" to regain a little bit as I learn to maintain my weight loss.

So I am thinking about - when I get to 220, setting a new goal for 195. This will bring me down to under 200 pounds (obviously) for the first time since high school, and also bring me down to just being "overweight" and not obese anymore. And then I can take stock again and decide what to do next.

So, that's not a plan, that's just a thought. I reserve the right to hold off on setting new goals until I actually reach my current goal, which is still 14 pounds and 7 weeks away.



SOOOOO, 50 pounds in 5 months. Just a recap - here's how I've done it. (This is, after all, the point of the blog, right?)

In March, my Dad decided to quit smoking. In support of his efforts I quit chocolate for a month. Before, chocolate was probably a daily habit. If I ever skipped a day of chocolate, it was an accident. Resisting chocolate and my daily convenience store/drugstore stops for chocolate was difficult, but whenever I was tempted I thought about my poor Daddy who couldn't smoke even just one cigarette, and that pushed me to stick to it. After a couple weeks of that, it got easier to keep away from the chocolate. (Dad did quit smoking for a few months, but spent the whole time complaining about being unable to write, which he never really did all that much anyway, he plays computer games more than he writes - but anyway, he DECIDED to start smoking again. It's his life.)

Anyway - after trying to take a decent photo of myself to post as a Facebook avatar, and several weeks of not being able to even wear pants properly due to the misshapen quality of my waist, something clicked past the breaking point and I'd had enough. I decided to submit myself to the demands of ediets meal plans. I would eat exactly what they told me to and if I lost weight, then great, and if I didn't, it was their fault. I signed up at ediets.com, got my first meal plan, did the grocery shopping and began preparing my meals at home (instead of eating every meal from a restaurant as I'd been doing before.) Packing them in tupperware and carrying them to work. Washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen became a new burden in my life every day.

When they brought cookies to work, I didn't have any. When my roommate made brownies, I didn't have any. When they provided lunch for us at work, I didn't have any. When we had meetings at coffeehouses, I didn't have any coffee (because I like it with milk.) When my family and friends wanted to go out to dinner, I said no or suggested other non-caloric activities. When I went camping I packed 2 days worth of meal plan to take with me. When offered beer or wine, I refuse. When I want to go to a bar or club and have some drinks, I just don't. I said to myself "No, I am tired of being ugly, I have to go through this time without to change."

Every week I spend about $130 at the grocery store, and every week I throw out meat and produce that has gone bad because I have to buy more at one time than I can use before it goes bad.

The meal plan keeps me moderate and satisfied. I feel no need to eat more than what's on the meal plan. I don't feel restricted because I know there's another delicious meal coming up soon. I get to pick the meals that I like.

While I do sometimes exercise, I don't keep up a regular schedule and my exercise usually is not motivated by my desire to lose weight but by other health/appearance concerns so I do not consider it part of my weight loss plan.

While I have lost weight following the ediets meal plans, I have not really changed my natural eating habits and inclinations, and I have not learned to go it alone yet. However, it was more important to me to definitely lose weight first, and then learn to keep it off later. That will definitely be the hard part. The rest has been easy.

OH, and I have to say to you guys - look, I may complain about my scale readings at times, but don't worry, they don't stab at my very core or anything. I take every loss, gain, and plateau as part of the process. I mean, yeah, I stayed at 240 a very long time, but I also had two interruptions in the diet process during that time. I am glad to see the scale go down again. I'm SO looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow!! :-)