I decided not to interpret my scale reading as less than 212 for today's official weigh-in. It's still registers a 3-pound loss from last week. If things go well, there's still the chance that I could reach 210 before the end of the month! According to ediets' predictors, at 2 pounds per week I should reach my goal of 198 on or abour March 13. What would be very cool would be to reach my goal before March 28, which will be my 1-year anniversary of the day I reached my breaking point and started on ediets. It's not a nice round number - that's 87 pounds lost. But it'll be the achievement of my 2nd round goal. Between here and 198, I'll stop being obese and become just overweight, I'll get below the lowest I've weighed in my entire adult life, and I'll reach Onederland. That's a mess of big landmarks coming up. I wore my size 16 jeans with no trouble (until after I ate dinner, then I unbuttoned when I sat and I was alone) and it's amazing to hear myself thinking that I wear size 16 jeans. You might as well uproot me and set me on the planet Mars for all the sense it makes to me.
But before you go thinking I'm all proud of myself... I got real up close and personal with my fat today, really looking at the places that it bulges from my midsection. There is so much of it. There is really so much of it. I know, I know I'll never be Sarah Michelle Gellar, but... according to fitday.com, my healthy weight range (for someone my reported height) is between about 125 and 169, and I was wondering what on earth I'd look like at 125. Honestly I don't think 125 is realistic for me, but I have no idea. I still don't know where I'm going to wind up. If I'm still grabbing this many handfuls of fat at 212, then where will I wind up? Is there any chance of me getting as low as 145? That's another 60 pounds to lose. How many pounds of fat am I carrying around my midsection? And by the way, when will my calves stop looking fat, or is that just the way they're going to be shaped?
And how much muscle will I lose along the way? Have I been losing much muscle already? I love and treasure my strength, and honestly, the lighter I get, the more vulnerable I feel to attack - not something I used to think of much. Still hope it won't be - I never like to think of myself as a victim-in-waiting.
That's a lot of questions that you guys can't answer. They're just part of what's running through my head as I try to look to the future.
Today I veered from the menu plan. Breakfast was as written, but I didn't have time for lunch before I had to run off to work. I thought I'd get a 6" turkey sub from subway, but Subway was closed. So I went to the Pita Pit and got a pita (wheat, ostensibly) with what looked like 3-4 oz turkey, 1/2 a slice of swiss cheese, tons of veggies including black olives and what looked like a couple tablespoons of mayo and another couple of honey mustard. Also a double-chocolate cookie and orange juice. I also had 4 chocolate mini candies and a cadbury creme egg and now I'm having another orange juice. So I'm just sort of skipping dinner and snack and hoping it all comes together in the end. Hopefully I'm still on plan.
I've made an exciting decision (well, exciting to me) about next week's plan. I'm going to make my own soup, enough for at least 4 nights, and heat up vegetable soup for dinner all week. With a piece of cornbread. A facebook friend mentioned veg soup + cornbread recently and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind! Plus I'm excited about the ease of heating up a bowl of soup! Simple pleasures, you may think. For me it will be sort of a return to normal living, and sort of a lesson in normal living. And that is an exciting step toward weaning myself off of ediets.
Ediets has me on 1600-1700 calories per day. My Mom checked to see what she would be asked to eat, and it was 1200-1300 (she's much shorter than I am.) I actually kind of dread having to restrict myself to so few calories daily. I try to remember that those are weight loss calories, and that maintenance will not be so restrictive.
Part of the weaning process is going to have to involve taking more proprietary of my own meal planning and calorie-counting. As a result, I'll be posting all my food intake at Sparkpeople next week, and hopefully finding a recipe book (we'll see if allrecipes.com makes this at all easy or how well its tools help me.)
I can't tell what my sickness is going to do. I felt almost well earlier today, but right now I'm a bit sniffly. I'm going to make some Theraflu, drink my orange juice and go to bed. Sleep heals. The reason I care is that I want to get back to exercising.
Well, that's the report for now. I'll try not to overload your reading list until I have something worthwhile to say.