Monday, January 4, 2010

Jan 4, 220

My weight did rise above 220, it seems. Yesterday I had one last Rolo and said toodles to the holidays. So I guess then that technically today is my first complete day back On. It's going to be a challenge, actually, with work being the way it is this week. I am unfortunately awake this morning so I've gone ahead and planned out my next week's meal plan so I can go grocery shopping for it. I went back on the Autumnal plan - even though it's winter, ediets still thinks it's fall, but either way it's cool. The lake outside my house is frozen over, the air bitter cold, and so I'm in the mood for acorn squash, eggplant, soup and pears, rather than the cottage cheese and berries and summer salads I've been eating the past week on the glycemic plan.

I am not regretful about my holiday Offness. I actually still feel like I've on plan, because it was part of my plan to go off plan in December and stagnate, and to start again now, and that's exactly what I'm doing. Getting down to 213 - that was the fluke! I'm actually grateful to get a glimpse of how maintenance is going to be.

I've gotten out of the habit of daily weighings and tuning in to fitday and blogger every day - but actually I don't know if I care that much about that. I think that weight loss motivates me to go to fitday and blogger, not so much the other way around, not so much that fitday and blogger motivate weight loss. My weight loss motivation comes from inside me, from a little bit of turning off and shutting out the distractions of the outside world.

What I don't know about is exercise, this week. The people in the Facebook exercise group were so gung ho about keeping the group going past Christmas, so we created a new group for the new year. I guess I feel like the week is intense and I won't be able to fit my exercise in, but actually, thinking about it, it's only Monday now, and I only HAVE to get in the 3.

It sucks I've been awake - I'm going to really be hating it later. And I have a headache. I don't know whether to get up, shower, and get started on my day, or roll over and try to get more sleep. I keep feeling more and more awake, but under it all is a strong and palpable undercurrent of sleepiness and fatigue - so I'm totally confused!!

Also - I've noticed my meals look small lately. I look at my meals and think "I don't know if that's going to satisfy me." This morning I feel myself getting quite hungry, and I'm thinking about my breakfast - three slices of canadian bacon with cheese on toast, and 3/4 cup of grapes. Really? That's it? Not even a cup of milk or something else? But I think it satisfied me yesterday, so it's kind of fun to watch yourself get satisfied by smaller meals. Besides, this is the glycemic index plan - 5 meals per day means smaller meals. Next week I'll be on the fall plan, with hot squashes and bigger meals. It'll be good.

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