I was just with my Dad. The topic of dinner came up and I said I'd be making dinner at home and talked about my meal plan and groceries and he said again that he and mom talk about my perseverance and how I'm slimming.
Then he said that if I wanted, he would be willing to get me some lipo from my belly. I guess they've noticed that I'm still big there. He's offered the lipo before, so I've researched it and I know it's expensive. And I'm thinking, why do I want lipo when I've just lost 50 pounds and still planning to lose more? Yes, it's true that I'm still big around the waist and that bothers me, too, but overall I feel good about the changes in my body, and as long as I'm still in progress, I have hopes that the fat from my belly will have to go away eventually...
I said, "You know, if you have that kind of money, I've got other things I'd rather have." Dream home, dream car, travel, college tuition... He took that kind of askance and said, "Well... that's what I'm offering."
It's weird because it shows how important it is to HIM that I have a waist, more important than that I have a home or a car or my great dream of traveling the world or anything else you could do with $5000 - I have stuff I'd like HIM to do with $5000 - finish the renovations on his house, fulfill his dreams to produce the plays he wants to do and to act them while he still has time. These things have so much more substance to me than my physical attractiveness. But what he wants to spend it on it my tummy. How strange to me that it should be that important to him. It seems to say a lot. What exactly it says I'm not sure, but it makes me sad.
There was something else, what was it...
Oh, yeah. I signed up at Sparkpeople. I get notifications at my email for what I can do to prepare through Phase 1. So far I haven't done any of it, no tracking foods with their food tracker, or anything. I feel like I could make use of Sparkpeople, but I'm too confused. I feel bombarded with (not just by Sparkpeople) with information from all directions and Sparkpeople's just not winning the fight for my attention yet.