Wednesday, October 7, 2009

youtube vlogger

I have stayed up all night watching a youtube vlogger. She had gastric bypass and you can watch through the videos as she reduces from 300 pounds to 170. Her name is massagegoddess, if you want to look her up. I was very glad she decided to show her excess skin, and I was able to notice that - in her case - even after the weight loss and eventual tummy tuck, her back was very broad and her hips very small. It made me wonder if that's how she'd naturally look if she had always been normal weight, or if some people who are apples are naturally 'meant' to put on the extra fat. It was very exciting to watch her get so small, and I was determined to stay through to find out what happened to her as she hit normal weight. Apart from nearly dying from a hernia, she seems to be adapting relatively well. Gastric still scares me, though. Wouldn't want to do it! But I was glad she showed the excess skin so honestly. Naturally I'm thinking about my own case - will I have the same issues with excess skin. As things stand now I squeeze myself and watch how my skin wrinkles. I've always had stretch marks but they've never been a problem for me before, you could hardly see them - now though, they form more noticeable indentations in the belly, and they become real creases when I squeeze at them.

It was also fun to watch her vanity change. As she started losing a lot of weight in the first weeks, she began wearing lots of makeup, primping, becoming extra cute, monitoring her camera angle, you could see her checking herself out in the monitor constantly. She was obviously excited about the changes happening to her. I could totally relate - I went through that a time or two in my life also. You just begin to revel in the newfound cuteness and femininity that arises, which is really based more on what's to come than on what's already there. You know how sometimes you feel great about yourself physically, so you feel fun and put on something to match how you feel and how you think you should look, and then you catch yourself in an unposed angle and realize your dress is totally inappropriate for how you actually look now.

Well, I totally sinned. I really need to be working on my light plot and it's almost 8a.m. now, I spent like 5-7 hours watching her youtube videos. I never even made dinner, and now it's just too late. I need to sleep, so I can wake up soon and get back to work!

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