May 31, 308.8?

 I have to tell you, I just spent a good 10 minutes at the scale trying to work out my reportable weight.  The numbers were all over the place, rolling from as low as 302 or less up to 314, but usually rolling around at 304-311 and settling around 307-309.  In recent times, since I've started this diet, there's been a cat litter box in my bathroom which has been crowding my scale space and my toothbrushing space so last night I moved the litter box closer to the wall, clearing space in front of the sink for me but also crowding the scale.  When I was first having trouble getting a scale read, I pulled the scale out to a different space on the floor.  The readings went haywire and dropped down to numbers at just above 300 or even below.  We did that for a while, then I lifted the scale to make sure there was nothing under it, and pulled an old bandaid off of one of the feet.  I battled and battled, eventually putting the scale back closer to the wall again, trying to find a spot where the readings made more sense to me, gradually thinking I would accept numbers like 310-something, then ok 309-something... but the scale readings were too low.  Obviously I haven't lost 5 pounds in the past 2 days, right?  So... it's hard to tell what I weigh, what my initial weight really was.  I am tempted to go to the Y to stand on the scale there just to get a more accurate reading.  If my numbers have dropped this much, I'm a lot closer to making a doctor's appointment where I can show up having lost weight.  I feel like if I've lost weight (1) my blood pressure readings might be, if not better, at least at numbers I can accept as not just due to that extra poundage, and (relatedly) (2) my doctor will feel like giving me feedback not based on writing me off as a hopeless fat person.  Thinking back to the last time I saw her and asked about this possible umbilical hernia and I felt like she looked at my fat belly and imagined a surgeon having to dig through all that fat and space to get to my abdominals and shove a hernia through and decided it wasn't worth it.

I can say my shorts were starting to think of dropping off of me at work by the middle of the day yesterday.  I couldn't tell you if that was normal or not though.  I typically think of those shorts as being kinda tight, a little surprising stretch in the fabric keeping them from tearing in the crotch.

Maybe after weeks of holding on to my fat my body suddenly went into a fat-burning metabolism.

Or maybe I screwed up by moving my scale.

I definitely should have got measurements.

I definitely have that outie bulge under my belly button right now.