July 23, 244.5

Hello. Ok.

MY WEIGHT

I haven't really been able to get a legitimate reading lately because I haven't had a clearly full night's sleep, and the only readings that count are the ones first thing in the morning, after a full night's sleep, and for the past two days I've gotten out of bed after only a couple hours. Still, it appears I'm hanging around 244.5 or dropped maybe to 244. Tomorrow I should be able to get a reading.

DAILY LIFE

I went to work today with some more people who hadn't seen me in a while - one of whom I was particularly interested in. Nobody appeared to notice anything different about me. Which, again, is fine. Possibly they notice and didn't want to say anything, and I say that's sensitive of them.

CLOTHES SHOPPING AND BODY ANALYSIS

On the other hand, after work I went shopping to get size 20 jeans. What a nightmare. Everything's boot-cut, and I was just too annoyed with the whole process of shopping to drive all over town looking for a pair of jeans that wouldn't offend the shape of my legs and flap around my ankles with every step. So I just broke down and bought two pair. They're spandexy, too, so who knows what'll happen to them in the wash. Maybe by the time I'm a size 18 clothing retailers will have some decent jeans at least available in the shops.

I also bought some t-shirts that I saw, and a dress (size petite! and I am tall - it's a little babydolly on me but still a classy royal purple fancy dress) so I need to wear a dress somewhere sometime now. Trying on the t-shirts and blouses, and the dress, I realized my body still has the same problem that drive me to start this diet in the first place 80 pounds ago... on oversized upper belly jutting out in the front. Apart from that, I could tolerate everything, even my fat arms don't really bother me. I keep hoping if I just stick with it, that fat will finally start to burn away and I can restore to a more typical version of me, but it is very stubborn! If I have to get down to 130 pounds, I WILL lose the fat from my belly and hopefully my cheeks will pull in some, too. Anyway, the t-shirts that I bought were really pretty cute and I just have to live with the body I have for as long as I have it. I considered that I would shrink into the t-shirts. Hopefully, I will shrink more proportionately.

DISCREPANCY

I just joined myfitnesspal.com just to see what it was about. I entered that I wanted to aim to lose 2 pounds per week, and they budgeted a diet of under 1400 calories for me. Ediets, on the other hand, has me on 1850! And projects weight loss of 2 pounds per week. That's quite a discrepancy!! Of course, I've been losing on ediets, and it's possible they have been adjusting my intake already based on my weekly weight loss, which was a big jump of 4 pounds last week, which the computer may have interpreted as being too much, although it was the tail end of a plateau.

EXERCISE

I meant to get exercise, but having had not enough sleep makes real physical exertion unsuitable. Maybe tomorrow.

MEAL PICTURES

Pictures are fun. Here's tonight's dinner - that silly crab quesadilla. Tonight, instead of attempting to fold the tortilla over all that stuffing, I just put all the stuff on one tortilla, put the other tortilla on top of all the stuff, used a little more cheese on the top and bottom. There was also less stuffing than yesterday because I forgot to include the onion. I have also got twice as much as cantaloupe as I'm supposed to - that looks more like 2 cups than 1 but I ate it anyway, silly me.

Of course, I post this not because I particularly liked this meal, but just to document my diet a little more illustratively.

CRAB QUESADILLA

2 whole wheat tortillas

3 1/2 oz canned crab meat

3 tbsp salsa

1 oz cheese

1/4 green bell pepper

1/4 red bell pepper

1/4 c. chopped onion

1 Roma tomato

chives and coriander

2 tbsp reduced-fat sour cream

TOMATO & AVOCADO SALAD

2 Roma tomatoes

1/3 c chopped avocado

1/4 small red onion, chopped

squeeze of lemon juice

1 CUP CANTALOUPE