eating it all

Just ate dinner. I'm pretty disappointed in this crab "quesadilla." This recipe calls for a ton of veggies to be folded over with a tiny 6" tortilla and a measly one ounce of cheese. :-/ Needless to say it was just a big mess, and I'd hardly call it a quesadilla with only one ounce of cheese.

Oh well.

Now I have to make food for tomorrow because I have to go in to work tomorrow.

Tonight I went to hang with my parents, and I told my parents that I was concerned a little about how I would transition into regular life without being the dieting hard-ass I've been for the past 4 months, without just regaining. Dad said, "Just don't binge eat." Which, I must say, is a riot coming from him - he's the one who was the bad example for me growing up. Mounds up his plate, then goes back for seconds. Pile up the salt and butter. Whatever there is to eat, he's not one to be moderate. However, his body can handle it. I don't know how much binge eating I did. I ate out, I cleaned my plate, I'd get seconds on stuff I liked, I'd treat myself to drinks and/or dessert, I enjoyed candy and sweets without restricting myself. Bingeing, though? Maybe sometimes, but not so often that I remember it. Then I came home and marveled at how I was eating a pudding cup. Mmmm, tasty pudding. Back in the day, before the diet, if I did go grocery shopping, I might buy a six-pack of pudding, but if I did, I'd know it would all be gone before I went to bed that night. Ice cream sandwiches, Ben & Jerry's pints, and cupcakes - same way. But I didn't go grocery shopping often, and if I did, I might occasionally disallow myself from buying the binge items, because I knew that there would be no self-control, no stopping, with certain foods.

The diet told me to buy fat free pudding, but I opted for sugar-free instead, because I felt I'd be less likely to lose my cool and inhale all the pudding in one night. So far, so good. Sometimes over the course of the day I feel hunger but it's not out of control. Besides, as I've said, I've undereaten for the past several days. By the time I go to sleep tonight, I'll have eaten all the food in my meal plan for today - 1850 calories. I call it a victory.

I'm afraid I've been tracking my weight at fitday.com, but over at Stephen's blog I discovered myfitnesspal.com. Over there his food chart is divided up by meal which makes more sense of it than one big list of a bunch of food I ate today. But I'm not prepared to make a transition to myfitnesspal.com at this time.

So here's the link to my fitday, fwiw. http://fitday.com/fitness/PublicJournals.html?Owner=hazel7373