July 17, 246

246! (24/6, which more aptly describes my commitment level, haha.) Yay, I'm so pleased to see it. It would be awesome to weigh in officially at 245 tomorrow just to be able to say I'd reached my mini-goal and lost 40 pounds. But 246 is okay.

And I started my period. Which I thought I'd seen signs of, but I'm irregular. Last month or so I thought I saw signs and then it never happened. I don't know if I have phantom periods or if I get build-up or what. I was regular for a few years in my late twenties - don't remember how long that lasted. Eventually I stopped keeping track and then one day it seemed like I realized I was irregular again.

Can I blame my recent weight-loss hold-up on the monthlies? Eh, who knows?

I went out last night to hear music. If I'd gone to one bar, I would have busted my diet and had a mojito, but they didn't have any music. So I stayed alcohol-free last night. I wound up hanging out with my brother and met a lot of his friends, many of whom were very friendly and probably drunk by the end of the night. I was dressed in my size 22 jeans, which are definitely baggy-ish now, but a nice top - a little sexy, a little classy. I put on makeup and stuff, hairspray even. I started to get a sense of being on the receiving end of male attention last night - not that that's necessarily what was happening but probably I'm just not used to being around such friendly, drunk people when I am sober. Anyway, there was a time I was happy to be on the receiving end of male attention - now I'm not so sure. It's been a while since I've met anyone I felt like I could see becoming good friends with, though I would love to meet such a person, I'm not sure what that person would be like anymore. I used to know. I guess now I'm just a bit jaded.

Anyway, being seen as generally more attractive is a desirable though potentially uncomfortable change.